Sunday, June 29, 2008

Unclear Deal

There’s a bandh called in J&K today and there was a lot of violence and destruction. This came as a total shock to most Kashmiris who, as we all know, aren’t really used to those kind of things.

But is this what our nation’s come to? Gujjars sitting on the tracks, Sikhs rampaging in Mulund, violent protests in Kashmir…In fact the ISI was heard complaining that it was losing its business to Indians.

Violent protests have become so widely spread, there’s talk of the Shiv Sena suing for copyright.

There’s also protest in West Bengal by the Gorkhas with demands for statehood. Now that will be one safe state!

Apparently there’s gonna be a dress code for the new state. Everyone’s gotta wear khaki.

Left leader Somnath Chatterjee underwent a cataract surgery in Hyderabad last week. It was in fact sponsored by the Congress who say the move may just help him see clearly on the Nuclear Deal.

But all this talk of the Nuclear Deal is confusing. If you ask me, it should be renamed the Unclear Deal.

The UPA has announced that it’ll be meeting with the left again on the nuclear deal soon. So that puts them right on track to reach a consensus by the year 2050.

How do you know when policy is influenced by the Left? It ain’t right!

Rumour has it that the CPI now stands for “China’s Puppet in India

The Left said that it was willing to negotiate on the deal. But since Chinese officials are so busy with the Olympics, it might take longer for them to get the go-ahead.

The Left is being extremely stubborn on the issue. In fact comparisons have been drawn with RGV’s belief that he can still make good films. It’s about time somebody told him the ‘Satya’ about his direction.

It’s 25 years since India won the World Cup in cricket. Incidentally it’s also 25 years since sportsmen wore tight clothes and had weird haircuts.

But that was a moment of great pride for all of us. In fact, we haven’t been that proud till a team led by an Australian won the IPL.

Rahul Bose retires from rugby. So now it’s just acting that he’ll suck at.

Did you see his latest flick, Shaurya? No? Good for you!

Mumbai has a new skywalk to get you walking in the clouds. Or maybe just the puffs of smoke.

But the skywalk couldn’t come sooner. It’s the monsoons, and the roads beneath will soon be torrential rivers. In fact, it should have been called a bridge over troubled waters.

They’re now saying that wars follow a complex mathematical pattern. That can’t be right. Didn’t George Bush just wage two of them?

But if it’s true, I don’t think it’s so difficult. It’s something like “Moron + President = War”

Thank God we don’t have a moron as our national leader. Maybe he’s toothless, but he ain’t no moron.

Boy, aren’t you glad we have an economist prime minister when the world’s undergoing this inflation spree?! Has the blow been softened or what!

But you have to give it to the government for reining in inflation. Or is it reigning in inflation?

Inflation now into double figures. Robin Uthappa was heard asking, “Double figures? What’s that like?”

Did you see India’s match against Hong Kong? Or should it be mismatch?

Hong Kong? Really? I didn’t know they played cricket there. Oh, they eat crickets, but playing? I’m not so sure.

Sania Mirza snatching defeat from the jaws of victory at Wimbledon. Whaddya know? She’s been training with the Mumbai Indians.

But before you criticize her, you must consider that Sania's one amongst very few sportswomen in India. Come to think of it, we don't have many playgirls either.