Saturday, July 12, 2008

The left has left

Happy Birthday to Left Leader Jyoti Basu, who celebrated his 95th birthday last week. Isn’t that incredible? He was actually born in 1913. That’s also incidentally the year in which the Left last updated their ideology.

So it’s finally happened, ladies and gentlemen, the left has left.

Did you see the pictures of the four Left leaders after they submitted a letter to the President’s office? Kind of reminded me of the promos of “Tashan”. Except that, of course, AB Bardhan looked more like a size 80.

Dr. Manmohan Singh now has to prove his strength on the floor of the house. I think that’s unfair. He’s, what, 80 years old; it’s hard for him to prove his strength anywhere.

Of course, it is an advantage that his main challenger is LK Advani.

Manmohan Singh had a meeting with the President on Friday to discuss the crisis. There was an awkward moment when he asked her “What’s your name again?”

But the meeting lasted for over 30 minutes. The President usually doesn’t meet people for that long. But this was a special situation you see. You know how Manmohan speaks right, under his breath and all, and her hearing isn’t as good as it used to be when she was 80. In fact, the first twenty minutes went by with her just trying to understand his pleasantries.

The Left withdrew support claiming a prominent personality like Manmohan Singh should think before making rash statements. See, again I think that’s unfair. Manmohan Singh hardly has a prominent personality.

But to be fair, they described Dr Manmohan Singh as the leader with the tallest personality at the G8 summit. Yeah, sure, the turban did help, but still.

Good news for the citizens of Bombay. We can now choose whether we would like to get our electricity from Reliance or BEST. So now you can pick anyone to give you power. Which is a little different from the Congress strategy which is “pick anyone to stay in power.”

Manmohan Singh and the Congress really desperate for allies in the countdown to the monsoon session of parliament. In fact, Gordon Brown was quite taken aback when at the G8 summit, Manmohan Singh asked him if he had any MPs to spare.

Yeah, Manmohan Singh was a little bit confused. In fact, inside sources reveal that he went to the G8 summit in the first place because he thought it represented a group of 8 MPs.

The Congress now looking high and low for allies. I don’t know about high, but they found Mulayam Singh Yadav when they were looking low.

Yeah, Samajwadi Party general secretary, Amar Singh really coming out strongly in support of Manmohan Singh. In fact, they’re saying that Manmohan may just be the next Amitabh Bacchan.

The countdown to the confidence vote getting really exciting. In fact, I’ve never been this near to the edge of my seat since the Indian Premier League finals.

But in this national crisis, you know I really feel sorry for? Harman Baweja. Not that it’s related to this. I just feel very sorry for him.

Poor guy, no? Son of a producer, well-toned, big banner release. I mean, who are you? Uday Chopra?

In fact they say he isn’t such a good actor either. I guess his name should have been Hammin’ Baweja.

Promos of Bachna Ae Haseenon are out. It stars Ranbir Kapoor, Deepika Padukone, Minissha Lamba and Bipasha Basu. Yeah, it’s the first Bollywood flick since “Girlfriend” not to have a male in the lead.

In other news, Shiv Sena leader Madhukar Sarpotdar has been convicted for inciting violence in the 1992 riots, after 16 long years. Can you believe it? 16 years. But there’s an upside. The government is now optimistic on obtaining a conviction in the General Dwyer case.

I guess you heard that J&K Chief Minister Ghulam Nabi Azad has resigned his post. Turns out the “magic numbers” he claimed to have had, were magical after all. Yeah, they sort of did the disappearing act.

The situation in Kashmir is now that the people there aren’t really sure who’s governing them. So, finally, things back to normal.

Reports of racism against Russians in Goa. I find that hard to believe. Even if it is true, though, it serves them right for exporting the communist ideology to India.

International news. The US is making a huge issue of Iran test firing nine ballistic missiles. But Iran tried to play it down. They said it was their response to the American 4th of July fireworks.

But then later Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claimed that the tests were not conducted. But of course, this was the same guy who said the holocaust didn’t happen either.

But this story is really a laugh. Apparently, the Iranians photoshopped the images in order to add to the number of missiles appearing in the photo. But you know who feels stupid at the end of all this? The Bush administration. If only they’d done the same thing searching for those weapons of mass destruction.

This week completed one year since the Lal Masjid incident in Pakistan. Islamic clerics there called for the public hanging of Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf. See, that’s what freedom of speech is all about. It’s so much more risky to criticize the Indian President. Unless of course, you are in Pakistan.

But it is difficult to criticize the Indian President. Especially, since so few people know who she actually is.

Coming back to that comment about hanging Musharraf, I think they are a bit unfair. I mean he’s already hanging by his hands and legs now, they want to get the poor guy by his neck as well.

Kylie Minogue voted Britain’s favourite celebrity. No big deal, if you ask me. I mean, what competition does she have? Camilla Parker Bowles and Scary Spice! Pfffft!

And in case you didn’t notice, Kylie’s actually Australian. So the favourite British celebrity isn’t even British. To which Shilpa Shetty said, “So?”

But that just shows you what poor self-image these Brits have. In fact the last time they were so ashamed of themselves were when the Spice Girls were on top of their charts.

They’re auctioning off memorabilia belonging to the royal family in England. I believe there was furious bidding on Camilla’s saddle.

One of the letters auctioned was written by Diana to the royal steward recounting the experience of when Prince William was very little. “Both of us parents spend most of our time gazing at the tiny person.” Or in the case of Prince Charles, listening to him.

Finally. Finally Rafael Nadal wins Wimbledon. He now says he loves grass. To which Fardeen Khan said, “You’re telling me!”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni, opting out of the upcoming test series with Sri Lanka citing fatigue. But you gotta feel for him. There are only so many advertisements, endorsements and fashion shows that one can attend before tiring out. Give him a break.

The BCCI has claimed there was no corruption in the recently concluded Indian Premier League. Yeah, they keep that sort of stuff just for one-day internationals.

India’s basketball coach – yeah, even I didn’t know we had one! – Alexander Bucan says India could be a force in Basketball in the coming years. What are you laughing at? 2050 will be here in no time at all.

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