Sunday, July 6, 2008

Water water everywhere...

Love Story 2050 releasing this week. It shows Mumbai as it will be in the year 2050. I believe its original title was “Six Feet Under”.

A special performance in the movie by Silk Route with their “Dooba dooba” number.

The rainfall in the city may have caused a lot of inconvenience, but officials say that the city’s water shortage problem has been solved thanks to it. That’s a relief. So now at least you won’t be thirsty for water when you’re drowning in it.

The BMC though had claimed that it was all ready to meet the heavy rain. It lived up to its promise of meeting with the rain, and like courteous hosts has made complete provisions for an extended stay.

The BMC prepared for the monsoons! Like that was gonna happen?! What next? The Nuclear issue gets resolved?!

The Nuclear Deal - it gets more amusing as it goes along. Now the Samajwadi party has jumped in the fray. Mulayam Singh Yadav now saying national interest is above politics. Now that’s what I call a free thinker!

The way the Congress and the Left have been bickering on the deal is crazy. It makes the Ambani brothers look cordial!

Did you see that bull run in Tamil Nadu on the occasion of Jallikattu? It made the folks down at Dalal Street heave a sigh of nostalgia.

Dr. P Venugopal has finally retired from AIIMS, at the scheduled end of his tenure. Anbumani Ramadoss has claimed a moral victory.

And this story just tells you what’s wrong with our country. The Liberhan commission, set up in 1992, to probe the Babri Masjid demolition has asked for another extension for another 3 months to table its findings. Yeah, they haven’t got anything done in 16 years, but 3 months, that’s all they should need! Good luck with that!

Have you seen the promos of Bachna Ae Haseenon? Don’t you think Ranbir’s the prettiest of the four haseenas?

Two movies releasing over the weekend. Don’t the two couples just look adorable? You know, Harman and Priyanka, and Imran and Aamir.

This is great. US intelligence now states that Islamic Jihadists are reshifting their base back to Pakistan. See, that’s where the American intelligence gets its wrong. When was it ever shifted away from Pakistan?

Prince Charles now drives a car that runs on wine, in an apparent bid to show his eco-friendliness. It’s his form of bioethanol fuel, they say. Yeah, booze in your car…What could go wrong there!!!

Most people were shocked when they heard that the prince was gonna use wine as fuel on his ride to work. “The Prince goes to work? Really?”

I don’t get it. Why doesn’t he ride the horse he’s married to instead? That’ll save some fuel!

The Pope is visiting Sydney, Australia, and brothels there are putting on extra workers expecting a surge in business. Wait! Did I just hear that right?

It’s true. Apparently, whenever there’s a big event in town, there’s a huge surge in demand for the flesh trade. But I guess they’re a little confused about exactly what kind of event it’s gonna be.

I believe the confusion stemmed from someone announcing the news in Latin, “Il Papa arrivederci”, which in English is, “Big Daddy’s coming to town!”

Tyson Gay now officially the world’s fastest man. He’s also officially the one with the most unfortunate name.

Talking about funny names, why would you name a superhero Hancock? I don’t even want to know what his superpower is.

Yeah, Will Smith plays the superhero Hancock. Apparently he’s the second-most powerful black guy after Barack Obama.

Speaking of whom, Barack Obama conveyed his condolences to the people of India over

the passing of Sam Maneckshaw. The only problem is the people of India didn’t seem so sad about his passing.

Sam Maneckshaw was, of course, known as Sam Bahadur due to his association with the Gorkha regiment. In fact, the Gorkhaland Mukti Morcha has claimed they have their first martyr.

Good news ladies and gentlemen, Nelson Mandela off the American list of international terrorists. Which now means the US will stop bombing South Africa.

Did you hear that story? I couldn’t believe it. Nelson Mandela and the African National Congress were still technically considered terrorists by the US till a week ago. Well, I’ll be damned! I never knew there was oil in South Africa!

Even the current president of South Africa, Thabo Mbeki was technically a terrorist, in the league of Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. So apparently the American policy is, if you can’t pronounce it, denounce it.

Remember when Dean Jones called South African cricketer, Hashim Amla a terrorist? It’s all starting to make sense now!

Did you read that story about the guy who sold his “life” for two million pounds? Yeah, he sold his clothes, his house, his car, contacts of his friends and his job to the highest bidder on Ebay for two million pounds. But I think it was a fair deal. Cause the loser who ending up buying the deal really needed to get a life!

Scientists have come up with a new substance which when injected into your body can prevent brain damage after a head injury sustained after up to four hours later. I’ve got another way to prevent brain injury- “Don’t bang your head in the first place, moron!”

But really is there a point to this? If somebody uses this and then goes ahead and gets his head banged, is there a brain to injure at all? I mean how does that work.

India’s central football defender Mahesh Gawli says he wants to achieve more. The greed of some people shocks me. Like what, being 116th in the FIFA rankings isn’t good enough for you, huh, hotshot?!

Manchester United Korean star Park Ji-Sung claims he used to drink frog juice to help him grow tall. I don’t know about the growing, but he can sure leap high now.

And as you all know, Spain have won Euro 2008. to which Rafael Nadal said, “Spaniards could win on grass? Well, I’ll be damned!”

3 comments:

pixie9 said...

F-U-N-N-Y
Why don't u add yr older posts from orkut here just so all of them can be in one place?

Sumedh said...

Shaun, seriously: you have a career in mass media!

Arvind said...

Now that the nuke deal is (finally) underway there are signs all over mumbai saying things like "eight is right left is left out welcome nuke deal". deep , n'es pas? anyhoo, you make an interesting point. also caught on air was a member of the communist party saying " our party is a democratic party". i was impressed . i didn't know that parties could be tyrranically run (but then again there's the sonia gandhi party). keep up the good work. am bored beyond belief here.so much so that i'm willing to type "fhpbuvwh" to post comments on a blog site ( no offense mate)